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40 things that could go wrong at an Exhibition Opening night!

40 things that could go wrong at an Exhibition Opening night!

40 things that could go wrong on opening night!

 

Now no one could possibly have all this happen at their exhibition opening (Although I have seen one or two of these really happen at other’s shows and possibly one or two at one my own!), so in a way it is a list to make you feel better if things didn’t go entirely to plan on your art exhibition opening night! Just for fun lets visit what could happen if it all went wrong, because let’s face it, it’s impossible for it to be this bad!

  1. No one turns up.
  2. The invites didn’t get sent out when you thought they had been.
  3. The printer looses your invites and it’s too late to print more.
  4. the band or entertainment you hired doesn’t stack up ,in fact they’re idiots or heavy metal rockers not the 3 piece string quartet like you ordered.
  5. Every crazy homeless person and criminally insane person turns up.
  6. Someone fins an insect in the food.
  7. The food doesn’t turn up or is really horrible.
  8. There’s a downpour the night before and the place is flooded or worse yet some of your art is ruined.
  9. Someone puts something through one of the paintings and ruins it.
  10. You run out of wine or worse yet the wine you ordered doesn’t turn up at all.
  11. The invitation states the wrong day/time or venue and you didn’t notice until its too late.
  12. The floor is slippery and all your guests keep falling over.
  13. Some idiot steals one of your paintings or the takings from the opening night.
  14. You have a wardrobe malfunction.
  15. You get drunk and make an idiot of yourself.
  16. The lighting is bad and makes your artwork look ill.
  17. A car smashes through the entrance.
  18. Someone vomits on your work/best client/you.
  19. The price list is all wrong and people are snapping up your art for less than half the price it’s meant to be.
  20. The curator is insane/drunk/stupid or missing.
  21. The guests loudly proclaim your work to be utter rubbish and there is an art critic listening who writes it all up in their weekly newspaper column.
  22. The fire alarm goes off and it really is a fire.
  23. It turns into a drunken party with wine splashed over the art and idiots falling over sculptures, (This really happens, I’ve seen it!)
  24. An axe murderer goes on a rampage at your opening (Now I’ve never seen that, but hey lets be prepared just in case!)
  25. Someone uses the toilet for more than a wee and the smell drifts through the exhibition space!
  26. You find out that there are seven other shows on that night and some of them really famous people.
  27. Worse yet the All Blacks are playing and most your guests are rugby mad.
  28. You find out at the end of the night you had spinach/ on your teeth from dinner earlier on and no one told you all night!
  29. The hell comes off your shoe and you have no back up pair.
  30. You do a speech and say all the wrong things.
  31. Someone gets drunk and obnoxious and they start a punch up! (Seen that happen once too!)
  32. Someone comes up to congratulate you on your show, only they call you by someone else’s name and they’re one of your rival artists!
  33. Your exhibition is of sculptures made from ice or wax and the air-conditioning fails!
  34. Your exhibition is mistaken for rubbish and the cleaner turfs it out (This has happened too, but I didn’t see it!)
  35. A person you didn’t invite on purpose turns up and there’s going to be trouble.
  36. Someone brings a dog and it relieves itself on the artwork.
  37. A painting falls off the wall and hits your best buyer on the head.
  38. The power fails or worse yet its cut off because the gallery didn’t pay its bills.
  39. Someone spikes the non alcoholic punch with alcohol and kids are drinking it.
  40. You r car gets clamped just as you leave to go to your exhibition

 

Well I think that’s enough now food for thought isn’t it, so you will be fine and everything will go well and according to plan…..you did have a plan didn’t you?

Posted: Tuesday 27 July 2010

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