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40 Reasons to Meltdown at Your Exhibition Opening Night!

40 Reasons to Meltdown at Your Exhibition Opening Night!

Forty things that could go wrong on opening night! 

Now no one could have all this happen at their exhibition opening (Although I have seen one or two of these really happen at other's shows and possibly one or two at one my own!), so in a way, it is a list to make you feel better if things didn't go entirely to plan on your art exhibition opening night! So, just for fun, let's visit what could happen if it all went wrong, because let's face it, it can't be this bad!

  1. No one turns up.
  2. The invites didn't get sent out when you thought they had been.
  3. The printer loses your invites, and it's too late to print more.
  4. The band or entertainment you hired doesn't stack up; they're idiots or heavy metal rockers, not the three-piece string quartet you ordered.
  5. Every crazy homeless person and the criminally insane person turns up.
  6. Someone finds an insect in the food.
  7. The food doesn't turn up or is horrible.
  8. There's a downpour the night before, and the place is flooded or worse yet, some of your art is ruined.
  9. Someone puts something through one of the paintings and ruins it.
  10. You run out of wine, or worse yet, the wine you ordered doesn't turn up.
  11. The invitation states the wrong day/time or venue, and you didn't notice until its too late.
  12. The floor is slippery, and all your guests keep falling over.
  13. Some idiot steals one of your paintings or the takings from the opening night.
  14. You have a wardrobe malfunction.
  15. You get drunk and make an idiot of yourself.
  16. The lighting is terrible and makes your artwork look ill.
  17. A car smashes through the entrance.
  18. Someone vomits on your work/best client/you.
  19. The price list is all wrong, and people are snapping up your art for less than half the price it's meant to be.
  20. The curator is insane/drunk/stupid, or missing.
  21. The guests loudly proclaim your work to be utter rubbish, and there is an art critic listening who writes it all up in their weekly newspaper column.
  22. The fire alarm goes off, and it really is actually a fire.
  23. It turns into a drunken party with wine splashed over the art and idiots falling over sculptures, (This happens, I've seen it!)
  24. An axe murderer goes on a rampage at your opening (Now, I've never seen that; let's be prepared, just in case!)
  25. Someone uses the toilet for more than a wee, and the smell drifts through the exhibition space!
  26. You find out that there are seven other shows on that night and some of them are really famous people.
  27. Worse yet, the All Blacks are playing, and most of your guests are rugby mad.
  28. You find out at the end of the night you had spinach/ on your teeth from dinner earlier on, and no one told you all night!
  29. The heel comes off your shoe, and you have no backup pair.
  30. You do a speech and say all the wrong things.
  31. Someone gets drunk and obnoxious, and they start a punch-up! (Seen that happen once too!)
  32. Someone comes up to congratulate you on your show, only they call you by someone else's name, and they're one of your rival artists!
  33. Your exhibition is of sculptures made from ice or wax, and the air-conditioning fails!
  34. Your exhibition is mistaken for rubbish, and the cleaner turfs it out (This has happened too, but I didn't see it!)
  35. A person you didn't invite on purpose turns up, and you just know there will be trouble.
  36. Someone brings a dog, and it relieves itself on the artwork.
  37. A painting falls off the wall and hits your best buyer on the head.
  38. The power failed, or worse yet, it was cut off because the gallery didn't pay its bills.
  39. Someone spikes the non-alcoholic punch with alcohol, and kids are drinking it.
  40. Your car gets clamped just as you leave to go to your exhibition.

Well, I think that's enough food for thought now, isn't it? 

So don't worry you will be fine, and everything will go well and according to plan…..you did have a plan, didn't you?

And while you're here why not check out this article on How to Deal with Galleries in New Zealand and if you're finding it hard to get into galleries read all about the 7 Reasons Why a Gallery Might Reject Your Artwork

Posted: Tuesday 27 July 2010


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Don't forget to take a look at more of New Zealand contemporary artist's work in Collette's Online Galleries